I don't really want to risk my integrity in exchange for some good fucking.

When people don't treat me the way I want to be treated I get this flare up in the back of my eyes that screams- DESTROY! Extra hard to control if I'm in a vulnerable state of drunkenness or exhaustion. It even kind of amuses me in a frightening way like "whoa, I can't believe I WANT to do those things." It happens most often towards people I resent in the first place. Hmmmph. The fuckin' wasn't that good and I hate hanging around people that bring this out in me.

Let's talk about shit, baby.

I'm horrified that so many women find it embarassing to talk about shitting and farting. Some say that they don't even LOOK at their poop! No wonder people have so many digestive problems. And anyway, it's definitely high on my list of funniest conversation topics. I can't imagine having missed out on all the hysterical shit stories that I've heard and told so far in my life.

And so you know, the doctor says a healthy poop should be shaped like an S or a banana and come out all in one piece. Yup.