My ass crack

always seems to be creeping out of my pants. I'm infamous for it. My friends make jokes and claim to see it on the regular. I never really thought I offended any one with it but the other day I was called out by a complete stranger! I'm still not sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

I was sitting on the stairs at the L train platform pulling and tugging at the zipper on my purse trying to stuff way too much in it. Some kid (a kinda cute, 20 something, hip hopper) came up and whispered through the railing:

"Hey ma, your pants."

Me(with a slight scowl): "What?!"

"Ma, pull your pants up. Your ass crack is hanging out of your pants"

My defense: "Look at yours!"

(he had on super baggy pants held up by a belt tight around his hips. Which of course means that his would be hanging out too if he didn't have his boxers pulled up out of his pants and up to his waist!)

I know this because he matter a factly pulled up his shirt (long enough to be considered a dress) to show me how he's "got a belt on."


I'm so beat.

I adore working at the food network but it's exhausting. And it doesn't help when I barely get any sleep (oops).
Yesterday I even got to meet and get my picture snapped with some of my favorite people and ELMO! It was like a childhood dream to see the work that goes on behind the scenes at Sesame Street. Elmo was cooking with Emeril and Telly was banging on some percussion with the band. The rehearal was especially hysterical and the sound guys were playing it over and over today.

We got invited to the set in October when they're filming next. All over that of course! Someday I'll follow through with creating a show with puppets, people, animation, education, and dirty jokes. Something crossed between Sesame Street and the Simpsons. Mixed with Family Guy and Nightmare Before Christmas and Avenue U. Yeah, SOMEthing like that. Dare to dream!

Um, THAT's mature!

It's too bad all you suckas had something ' more important' to do.

Left alone together on Coney Island and Karen and I created a day of sheer indulgence only a 12 year old would envy. We spent every penny we had eating disgusting food and terrorizing ourselves on astroland rides. You missed out on the salsa cheese fries and beer, raw clams and beer, pistachio-banana twist (softserve!) ice cream, pizza, and buttered popcorn!
Well, the clams and beer were kind of grown up...Anyway, we had a blast as usual running around half naked and drunk on the beach throwing each other around in the waves and getting caught in the seaweed. We screamed on the cratchety old wonder wheel (non stationary car, of course!) and walked to the end of the pier and watched the drunken locals scooping up fish and crab.

Ah, A purrrrfect summer's day!

Got a love-hate relationship

with my ghetto 'hood. I left this morning hating it cause I had to argue with a drunk guy who stumbled after me for 2 whole blocks on my way to the train. He insisted that because I was "a hippie" that I MUST smoke cigarettes therefore I MUST have matches on me and that I was being a bitch and just not giving him one. It was super annoying. He followed me and went on and on about it. Even tried to bring some homeboys into it telling them that "the hippie girl is mad cause I asked her for a match." I had to resort to telling him to fuck himself and leave me alone. Not a very clever response but he was too drunk to have appreciated one anyway. UGH.

BUT tonight when I got back home I couldn't help but fall in love again. The hydrants on two different streets were bursting with water, kids were running around screaming and giggling, family's were camped out on the curbs in lawn chairs, and it felt like home on the southside.

I made a kick ass mix cd today

for my good friend Paulywog. Of course I am probably getting more enjoyment out of it than he ever will but such is the case with mixes. I have so many great ones on tape that people made for me and unfortunately a few that didn't survive all my moving but I remember them fondly. I saw a cool book about the history of mix tapes which looked really rad. What great days. I have to say though I love making them on a computer now because I can spend more time obsessing about the order of the songs cause I can listen and swap them around so easily. Hmmm I wonder if Kenny just hates the haircut or forgot that I traded it for a mix tape! HELP, I need NEW MUSIC!!!

It's hard not to lie

to little kids sometimes. They just catch you off guard with some weird question that leaves you speechless.
My friend told me that her 3 year old daughter grabbed her husband's pants at the crotch and said "Oh you have something in there?" Where do you go with that??? I really would love to know if she believed him when he responded "No." I'd like to ask her what she thinks he's storing in there.

The other day the 2 year old I babysit discovered her SHADOW! It was such a trippy experience for me to try and explain what it was and comfort her when she cried and tried to run away from it. TRIPPY.

I think I've got a good one.

I have to make a million lists these days in an attempt to take care of all my business. But awhile back Karen was kind (and concerned enough) to me make a super important list. I've re-edited it a few times and I think I've managed to come up with a good list that also serves as a checklist for potential dates. Its quite thorough and funny at times but it's serving me well. Someday soon I'll post it here for your amusement.

I'm making a list, I'm checking it twice...

I'm so freaked out

by building fires! I saw one up close for the first time today and it wasn't pretty. There were all these flames roaring out of the second and third floor windows and fire engines were screaming and blackened windows were crashing to the ground. Scary and so sad.

It is one of my greatest fears in life to be ravaged by fire and I hope by talking about it I'm keeping it further away from me and not attracting it. It's just a true tragedy. You can lose everything you own. If the fire doesn't destroy your stuff it's done in by the firemen doing whatever they have to do.

*Sigh* I really don't think anyone got hurt in that blaze but my prayers go out to all the people that lost something personally valuable to them today.

Never been

called a Primadonna before. And even the teacher openly confessed that it was both a good and a bad thing. Hmmmmmm, I THINK it was said with mostly good intentions. I found it amusing either way and it was one of the first times that I was singled out like that and didn't turn as red as my nailpolish. Movin' on up.